Embolisation (3) I Wanna Be Sedated...
Updated: Nov 22
'Hi, I'm Dr D...' said my surgeon. Dr D was an Asian lady, Indian I guess, small, slim, extremely pretty, radiating intelligence and efficiency.
'Would you like me to explain the procedure ?' Not really, to be honest, I'm squeamish was what I wanted to say. But I thought that might seem rude, so I smiled faintly,
'Yes, that would be kind of you.'
'Well, we're going to insert a catheter into your femoral artery, in your groin...' I kind of tuned out here. Basically she was going to send something up my artery to the liver and seal the blood vessels that supplied the tumour, thereby weakening its growth and stabilising it. 'Don't worry,' she said, 'you'll be sedated.'
As they wheeled me off in my bed, I thought, I can't wait to be sedated, that made me think of the Ramones song from my teenage years, I Wanna Be Sedated,
"Hurry, hurry, hurry before I go insane I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain Oh, no, oh-oh, oh-oh
20, 20, 24 hours to go I wanna be sedated Nothin' to do, nowhere to go-oh I wanna be sedated"
The operation room was huge, painted pastel blue, oncology blue as I've come to think of it. It was very quiet, mysterious machines lay there silently. Dr D's team appeared to be a lady radiologist, and two nurses. Everyone seemed very jolly.
'Local anaesthetic, while we put a cannula in...sharp scratch...'
Ok, that was fine, 'Now we're just giving you the sedation...'
I sank into a wonderful sleep. I woke up feeling absolutely fine in a recovery bay.
Dr D was very upbeat. She removed the device from my groin, a couple of centimetres from my penis.
'I'm going to press here for seven minutes, reduce any swelling.' So Dr D's hand did what she said while we chatted and I prayed that no other swelling would take place in the near vicinity. Thankfully my prayers were answered.
Who knew that cancer procedures could be so entertaining ?
(I'm adding an image of the Ramones, fave band, for people too young to have been aware of them, check them out !)